By: Vanessa Long
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I've been up to something really nerdy... I'm reading original source material for NLP.
Most of you know that I'm an NLP Trainer (Neuro-Linguistic Programming, i.e. changing your brain with language) and one of the cool things about NLP is that it is a constantly evolving set of tools and techniques all encased in one handy-dandy philosophy of excellence. In other words, we do whatever we need to do to get you to results as quickly and effortlessly as possible. And we keep coming up with better ways to do that as our understanding of the human body increases. It's so cool!
Okay, NLP is cool but one thing I haven't done is to go back and read the original books, and the books that came before those books. A few months ago I decided to change that so I got my hands on The Structure of Magic I and II by Richard Bandler and John Grinder (the co-creators of NLP) and I've been working my way through what feels an awful lot like a PhD thesis. I don't think it is, but, dude!, the references and the obvious infatuation with transformational linguistics is making my head spin.
And I love it! I love having my brain challenged and stretched. Sometimes it's important to pull out of the Deepak's and Dr. Phil's and go read a book that blows my mind. So that's what I'm doing.
But what I wanted to tell you about, and what I am loving so much is Bandler and Grinder's description of the Model of the World and how it is created.
Model Of The World
Here's the deal:
You don't know anything about reality. EVERYTHING you think you know is just a perception, or a belief, or a decision you've made about reality. It is something you have seen, heard, touched, felt, or tasted.
You, me, each one of us, we have no freakin' clue what is really happening out there. We have hundreds of millions, if not trillions of pieces of data coming at us every second of every day. If our unconscious minds (I call it the 'UM' for short) didn't filter it out we would quickly go insane with the overwhelm of the data.
Because our UM loves us, it quickly filters all that information down to what we need to know, interprets it for us, and then presents it to our confused little conscious mind. Which then goes on to think that what it is being told is TRUE and REAL and the WHOLE STORY. As if.
What's the problem with this system? There are, like, a billion problems but let's just focus on this one today:
Your UM is the one making the decision about what you need to know and what you don't.
That's a BIG problem
Because your UM is where you store ALL of your hurts, ALL of your prejudices, ALL of your fears, and ALL of the secret, shadowy things that you would rather not deal with and you definitely don't want anyone else to know about.
And, more than anything else, it wants to keep you safe.
So it will simply DELETE anything that it doesn't not consider to be safe. Boom! Gone.
Finding that man when you're terrified of relationships and intimacy. Boom! Gone.
The opportunity for a job promotion when you're scared of burning out? Gone!
The speaking gig? The promotional opportunity? The joint venture? If you're scared of being successful (and, yes, that's totally a thing!), then BOOM!, they're all gone.
You won't even know that you just missed out on a huge opportunity.
Nobody Loves Me
Bandler and Grinder give an excellent example of a man who believed with all of his poor, sad heart that 'nobody ever says anything nice to me'. He was totally convinced of it and it was making him miserable.
Even when B&G went to his home and recorded his wife saying nice things to him on a fairly regular basis, he didn't. even. hear. it. It was literally, completely, and totally outside of his awareness. Deleted.
WE TOTALLY DELETE WHAT WE DON'T BELIEVE TO BE POSSIBLE.
If you don't believe you can be happy, you won't SEE the opportunities to be happy.
Is this hitting you? Are you getting this? You should be totally pissed, or freaked out, or something about this, because if you don't think that the universe is presenting you with EXACTLY what you say you desire at every single moment then you aren't really getting this. It's right there. Right in front of you. Happening every second. And you simply don't see it.
That's bad, right?
What I have come to understand, more and more, is that the heart of my job is to help my clients unfetter their eyes, take the blindfold off, and SEE what there is to see so that they can have the life they want and make better choices.
In NLP, we are taught that everything we do should increase a client's choice.
And B&G say it straight up - research has shown that people who believe they have many choices when faced with a problem are more content - more happy - than people who believe that they have very few or no choices.
Wanna be miserable?
Believe that you have no choice.
Wanna be happy?
Look for, Demand, Create many choices for yourself in every situation. See the choices. Embrace the choices. Even if 90% of them suck, roll around in them and get them all over you. Because when you have choice, you have power and when you have power you have the ability to create a life you love.
No choices = a desperate attempt to convince the world and yourself that you are a VICTIM.
And you're not. No matter how much you argue for it. You're only a victim of your own limited choice to not see options. A Victim of your own Deletion.
Wanna change it?
Let's get going.
On March 29th, I'm hosting a webinar on Aligning with Spirit: Getting out of your own way so you can get what you want. (I'll be sending out an email in the next few days with all the details.)
It's a powerful teaching that will allow you to create the work-life balance you crave, the power you seek, and the love you yearn for.
It was the #1 choice of people who completed the survey and I'm thrilled to offer it.
Speaking of Power... if you're on Facebook and you want daily doses of the real deal, I invite you to join thePowerHouse, my new Facebook group. I'm posting in there every day and encouraging everyone else to do the same. Magic, money, and marriage, plus building a business you totally love.
Posted by Vanessa Long : 18 March 2016, 10:00AM